A couple of days ago I was preparing my essay on phoenician harbours and I started discussing with my grandfather about "alvenaria" (which is basically masonry). Outside it was dark already but he took a flashlight and asked me to go with him downstairs to the backyard so he would show me a structure similar to the ones we'd been talking about. We went to the far end of the yard, which is full of rubble, plants and bushes, and some trees (including a very old lemon-tree which was very fun to climb when my sister and I were kids heheh). We stopped at the end of the backyard facing a sort of solid shack to store tools, old stuff, etc, and he pointed the flashlight at the masonwork bordering the left window - (the small house-like shack has a door and two windows on each side of it) - we were completely focused on the stonework, so in the dim light we didn't notice the gigantic cobweb that spread like a thick veil in front of the window.

When we finished examining the masonry we finally focused on the cobweb - the biggest and most peculiar-looking spider I have ever seen [live] was hanging inches from my grandfather's face. It was horrible! Completely white (a dirty ivory white), 1 inch in diameter at the very least (not including the legs), the body itself was roundish and...well, massive!! At first I didn't believe it was a spider, because it was so huge, but then grandfather poked it with a stick and it moved sideways quick as lightning! I thought it looked like a sea crab because the legs were held sideways and also because it was so solid... (@@/) The funny part was then my grandfather hit it and we heard a dry sound as if the spider was made of wood (disgusting...!) but I guess it must have been a heavy blow to it because it fell and started bouncing on a string of silk from one side to the other as if it was unconscious. I felt a bit sorry for it lool but I think it must have lived, it just looked KO heheh xD

I researched about it afterwards and found it was probably a Misumena vatia from the big family of the Thomisidae - in other words... Crab Spider (Aranha Caranguejeira ou Aranha-Caranguejo). They exist here in Portugal and are venomous, though the toxins they produce aren't particularly dangerous to us. Using stealth, they ambush the prey (big insects) so they plan the attacks - smart aren't they? - and - this is the coolest part --> they can change colour to camouflage themselves. Like the sea crab it can move sideways (I saw it do that) and even backwards.

I'm pretty sure it belonged to the species I mentioned, though when in doubt, it's best to stay on the safe side, because even though only a small percentage of spiders are dangerous to humans, it still hurts for example when a bee stings (I even have coleagues that we bitten by scorpions during excavations x/ ) and a painful bite from a spider like this, with big skin-splitting fangs, adds to the disgusting factor as well (not to mention it could be potentially traumatic heheh). Besides, chances are this is no radioactive spider, so it won't give you any superpowers xD it's best to leave it alone... or use a flamethrower if you happen to have one (just kidding xD)...

My grandfather said he never saw one so big here (when he lived in Africa he did, much bigger ones actually, but hey, it was Africa xD).

I didn't take a photo of the spider because it was dark already and now it is probably gone (I sure hope so heheh)... but here is a photo I found on the net, really close to what I saw...